Week 5 Story: Wrongs Avenged by the Gods
Wayne began the long journey home with his soldiers from the war for Ring World X-VII. During this war Wayne committed many atrocities and war crimes against the Xien People, that included the use of mustard gas, and explosive bullets. Despite the darkness that followed his name, he was the fiercest fighter known to have graced the battlefield. Often he withheld sacrifices to the gods in the name of greed after his victories. These actions caused him to fall from the graces that he once held from the gods, the gods set out to curse him. So they came to him in a dream, they showed a man crossing oceans of stars to meet a being no words could describe then in a flash of light he appeared on a beach where he came face to face with a three headed serpent that wished him to step into a fire. As he stepped into the fire he awoke with tears of blood running from his eyes and burns on his feet. Spooked from this strange interaction from the gods, he vowed to change his ways.
This wanting to change was short-lived as the prophesy quickly came to fruition. As Wayne traveled with his companions they crossed a purple and grey planet teeming with gold that laid untouched on the desolate surface. Landing to explore this uninhabited sight their ship became stuck in a purple ooze, a loud roaring cry was let out and the ground shook. As everyone caught their balance a gigantic eye miles wide opened to face them. "why do you come?" the planet asked, Wayne answered we are in need of food and supplies. The planet knowing the falsehood of this answer chuckled and swallowed two of his men in holes that vanished as fast as they appeared. "For how could a barren planet have food and supplies? No, you came for the treasures that lie upon my back" the planet said. Wayne now knowing his first grievous mistake rushed all his men to grab what gold they could an escape to the ship. Six foolish men tried and failed to grab even trivial amounts of gold and were quickly eaten. Wayne and his men fled to the ship and in desperation activated the hyperdrive to blast away from the devious planet. Knowing how close he was to his fated death, Wayne once again vowed to be better.
Nearing the end of his journey back to earth, the ship was struck by space debris that littered earth's atmosphere. They crashed into the ocean and awoke days later on a small uninhabited island. Completing the prophesy, a three headed serpent appeared to Wayne and the few soldiers that remained. Startling the men, the serpent rose its head and spoke but one sentence "One must perish so that they can live". And as a mirage of an oasis appears in a desert, so did a fire burning on nothing but the air. "Surely this cannot be, we must be hallucinating!" Wayne said as he slowly reached into the fire only to be scolded by the heat. The men searched the island completely, but there was no food to be found, for Wayne and his men was truly cursed. Returning to the serpent, Wayne overcame one of his men and thrust him into fire. The man quickly turned to ash from the unnatural heat that exuded. The Serpent bowed its head saying "Only man it would be that would cast another into the fire without thought.". The serpent and fire faded away as mist into the wind. Realizing his mistake, Wayne knew his existence had come to an end.
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| The island that Wayne and his soldiers landed on Source |
My "wow" moment began just from reading your title! It immediately drew me in and made me curious to see where the story would go. "Wrongs Avenged By The Gods" is so dramatic and powerful. What a great attention grabber.
ReplyDeleteThe story is amazing and definitely does not disappoint. I wondered a little about how he originally had such a high standing with the gods if he commits atrocities and is greedy? Also, what if you didn't tell the reader that the gods were speaking to Wayne in a dream until he woke up? I think it would really add to the drama and tension that you start out with with the title. You could just say, "These actions caused him to fall from the graces that he once held from the gods, the gods set out to curse him. They showed a man crossing oceans...". I think that would add a really cool little twist in the story!
Hey Nicholas,
ReplyDeleteI was wowed form the first moment I started to read the story. I have always been a fan of sci-fi, particularly the Dune saga, and this story had many similar elements that I loved! In both of these stories the reader is thrust into a universe they know nothing about and with strange rules that make no sense to the reader, like how a far-advanced humanity could still be making sacrifices to deities. They both follow a character with tragedies that we cannot fully comprehend as we do not ever fully know their story and lead to very curt endings, with Wayne dying on an unknown island after having lived as a great warrior. The story held me in awe from one point to the next and I was infatuated with it! I am also very curious how you came up with the idea to change the Odyssey from a tale on the Mediterranean Sea to an interstellar story of a cursed warrior? Also, did you give any thought to who/what the gods were that held such sway over Wayne? I would have loved to see a little more detail about them; was the three-headed serpent a god, or merely a messenger? Are these gods from Earth or gods that Earth encountered as it began its space age? These questions lead to many cool possibilities for future growth the story and I would love to see what you do with this!!
Hi DKNK! What a creative idea to adapt a portion of Homer's Odyssey to a space setting! I think sailing stories lend themselves well to space travel, for whatever reason. Wayne was an interesting protagonist to me because I found that I didn't always like him very much--he seemed like a character who just couldn't learn from his mistakes. I guess your adapted ending fit well with Wayne's personality, since he got what he deserved in the end.
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